Many of us have things in our life that we are unhappy and anxious about. What stops us from changing is that most of us refuse to look at our own  lives and ourselves honestly.

This keeps us from seeing what we need to see and doing what we need to do.  We keep making the same blunders over and over because we won’t look at ourselves!  We are sure that if our partner or the situation was different, then we would be happy and life would be better.

If you really want to change your life, you must have an accurate and honest picture of yourself. You can’t distort the truth about you, your life, and your part in your relationship issues. You have to accept the reality of your life. Only then can you start evaluating, strategizing, and implementing changes. But who is willing to do that?

Looking at ourselves honestly and deeply is difficult to do. It’s hard to admit that you or your relationship is failing as a direct result of your own lack of effort or missteps. To own this and work on changing oneself is an extremely difficult task. It takes effort, courage, and a strong desire to grow as an individual. But most of us avoid this!

We  can mess up our lives and our relationships because we refuse to look at ourselves accurately.  Instead we spend our time denying the truth and defending ourselves. This creates anxiety. The anxiety  of denying the truth and defending yourself is impossible to soothe. That may be the reason you are feeling like the anxiety is overwhelming.  It is impossible to self soothe when you are dodging the truth about your life.  It will be hard enough if you are soothing the anxiety of an accurate self picture and the process of going about changing.

Considering how difficult this is, many people find that  divorce, cut off, and affairs are easier. It is simpler to find a new partner, one who “ accepts you as you are”, thinks you do no wrong and with  whom you find novel interest in, than to work on yourself!  We each must make a choice.


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